Mrs. Madeira Darling

Anti-femininity Revisited: Why Anti-femininity Is Not Feminist

Anti-femininity is not feminist. In fact, quite the contrary, anti-femininity is anti-feminist. Of course, this is not to suggest that femininity is feminist - but neither is femininity necessarily anti-feminist. Feminism is not about saying that women have to act like men - but, rather, that women should have a right to do the same things that men can do. It’s best that we not confuse the two.

Thankfully, the “anti-femininity” branch of feminism seems to be on the decline - and there are more and more feminists speaking out against the hatred of femininity, and how that in itself can be “misogynistic”. A common term for it is “femmephobia” - or, if you prefer a term that doesn’t have “-phobia” in it, “femme shaming”.

Part of why femme shaming should not be tolerated is because it neglects to address the other side of the gender role issue: effeminate men. This is, in fact, a major part of how the patriarchy also hurts men. Effeminate men get enough grief from the misogynistic chauvinist types, because being “like a women” is viewed as being shameful. We don’t need to supposedly “progressive” side to also be reinforcing the notion that “being feminine” is bad or shameful.

The other reason why femme shaming is bad is because it contributes to the tomboy/girly-girl dichotomy, which can be just as harmful as the virgin/whore dichotomy. If a women is shamed from the patriarchal side for her masculine interests and shamed from the supposedly “progressive” side for her feminine interests, this really places her in a double bind - and, from both sides, she’s being told that she should allow the patriarchy to influence her interests. I’m sure you can see where this is problematic.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with being a feminine woman or a masculine man. Feminine women should not need to feel ashamed of their gender expression. It only becomes a problem, though, when feminine women start acting as if all other women should be feminine.

While a major aspect of feminism is, in fact, woman can do anything that men can do - it should not be confused with women must act like men in order to be truly progressive. There’s nothing wrong with a woman liking pink, simply because she thinks it’s a pretty colour. What is a problem, though, is when pink is aggressively pushed onto women.

If you like pink, flowers, pink flowers, or anything else commonly associated with traditional femininity - it does not make you less of a progressive, nor does it mean you’re “setting women’s right back”. Anyone who would say that is just simply working to replacing a male-centric system of privilege with a masculine-centric system of privilege - which would still, ultimately, privilege men over women.

Simply put, femininity per se is not anti-feminist. The enforcement of femininity is anti-feminist. Sort of like how money per se is not the root of all evil. The love of money is. Hopefully, you catch the drift.